Celestial Weasel (celestialweasel) wrote,
Celestial Weasel

Bash their baggonets

Returning to GK Chesterton again, something that popped into my mind earlier - some pointless whimsy conceived as a scene in my bizarre unfilmable film:
The characters are watching TV when, just before the hour, in the manner of TV in Thailand which stops to play the national anthem at 6 pm every day, the show is interrupted and Neil Innes (or someone who can stand in for Neil Innes appears in a dinner suit standing by the town sign saying Rye and with rather exaggerated gestures begins to sing - the focus moves in i.e. the TV becomes the whole cinema screen

Before the Roman came to Rye or out to Severn strode,
The rolling English drunkard made the rolling English road.
A reeling road, a rolling road, that rambles round the shire,
And after him the parson ran, the sexton and the squire;
A merry road, a mazy road, and such as we did tread
The night we went to Birmingham by way of Beachy Head.

I knew no harm of Bonaparte and plenty of the Squire,
And for to fight the Frenchman I did not much desire;
But I did bash their baggonets because they came arrayed
To straighten out the crooked road an English drunkard made,
Where you and I went down the lane with ale-mugs in our hands,
The night we went to Glastonbury by way of Goodwin Sands.

His sins they were forgiven him; or why do flowers run
Behind him; and the hedges all strengthening in the sun?
The wild thing went from left to right and knew not which was which,
But the wild rose was above him when they found him in the ditch.
God pardon us, nor harden us; we did not see so clear
The night we went to Bannockburn by way of Brighton Pier.

My friends, we will not go again or ape an ancient rage,
Or stretch the folly of our youth to be the shame of age,
But walk with clearer eyes and ears this path that wandereth,
And see undrugged in evening light the decent inn of death;
For there is good news yet to hear and fine things to be seen,
Before we go to Paradise by way of Kensal Green.

... with suitable and/or random footage of him singing it in bits of the UK followed by various people (Morris dancers, the inevitable and clichéd punks with mohicans etc.) ending in fireworks in the shape of the cross of St. George.
Well, I think it would make a perfect national anthem anyway.

Another scene in the film consists of Alan Rickman in leather jacket and tight blue jeans walking into a gay disco and then strutting his stuff on the dance floor to the tune of the song co-written by Tom Robinson and Elton John that was so cheesy that the TRB insisted it was released as Tom Robinson not TRB, and ultimately lead to the break-up of the band.
And you can kind of see why...
Incidentally, I found at least one website (with more popups where all the 'he's are changed to 'she's!

I have yet to link these two scenes, obviously, but it will come

Must lie down in darkened room.... need holiday....

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