Celestial Weasel (celestialweasel) wrote,
Celestial Weasel

The Weaselies 2004

Being a collection of decontextualised quotes culled from the blogosphere over the last year.

The essence of a quote is its quotability, i.e. one looks at it and thinks 'that's a quote'. Therefore, there is no overarching theme. The quotes are not attributed to their authors - my list just includes the quotes not the authors, maybe I will do it differently next year. I would guess that they are probably about 1/3 from LJ friends, 1/3 from LJ friends of friends and 1/3 from blogs of the rich and famous and/or things I have randomly found or had pointed out to me. Obviously I haven't included any friends only posts.

I hope everyone takes this in the spirit in which it is intended. If anyone objects to their inclusion or would like one of their posts attributed to them, let me know and I will edit this message :-)

OK - having said that here we go :-

I would have expected that one couldn't go wrong with chicks wearing tv parts. I was mistaken.

is every white man here a pervert?

We were inspecting a sweater, and couldn't find anything wrong with it, when I noticed that the damage tag had fallen onto the floor. I picked it up, and much to my surprise, read, "Smells like cat piss!" written in blue ink. I saved it as a souvenir to remember my job by.

I had about 10 cartons of UHT milk I'd stupidly not used, dating back to like 2002 use-by. I tried, but no mater how you shook 'em, the stuff was all curdy, and though not exactly 'off', kind of unsound-tasting. I hated to just dump it all,though, so I thought I'd try squirting it into the bath. It wasn't half bad, actually. My skin feels kinda nice. I do smell like rice pudding, though...

Doom!Doom!Argh!FuckingDoom!: 22 hours 15 minutes

An important feature of the etiquette of Shed Space, as I understand it, is that all of these arrangements are both informal and also somewhat hazy. Politely asking permission for shed, and explaining exactly what your shed use is going to be and for how long, is _not_ the way to go about it - this would cause feelings of awkwardness all round, and show you up to be not... well, not a proper bloke, when it comes down to it. Because Shed Space, insofar as I've been able to observe it, is a subset of BlokeSpace...

On the other hand, I've made real paper flashcards for the 500 words which comprise the beginner's vocabulary required for the first level of the Klingon Language Certification Program, and I have a wooden box with different-sized compartments which is designed for learning things with flashcards, so maybe I can adapt that technique.

People sometimes ask me if being a vegan is hard... the only hard thing, and this is totally honest, is trying to decide what to eat first.

It's the Singularity we have to focus on. Everything else is almost an irrelevance.

What I also found interesting was how quickly the spoken Chinese away from the coast became incomprehensible to me. Rob Gifford's Chinese is impeccably clear Mandarin.

how successful would dyeing a ballet tutu be?

Everyone, don't buy Sainsbury's Double Gloucester cheese. It tastes of despair and emptiness.

A corporate blog is just like a personal blog, except you don't get to use the word "motherfucker."

The answer is compost.

Walked past a drag king on the way into work this morning, trying out her new moustache, trying to pass... looked back to check and her long bad boy shorts were loose but not quite loose enough to hide her girlish arse ... she didn't look back at me, probably likes'em boyish just like her.

An illusion of which I have now been disabused: "Hey, the opening act is a puppet show, that might be entertaining." Unless by "entertaining" you mean "intolerably tedious."

It's simply amazing how traffic goes up when you do something as simple as exposing the secret gay life of a United States Congressman.

Honestly, I haven't seen a city this shrouded since Taipei 1992.

I sold a guy a gram of coke that was about 90% crushed aspirin....I'll be damned if he didn't come back for more.(circa1980, btw)

I have always found those guys, like the ones who ask if I've read Ayn Rand, to be a distinct minority.

Once I'm back I'll just be another London blogger with a semi-posh if nasal accent who's wasted a couple of years farting about in the States. Big fucking deal. There's a million of them, whinging on in PHP about RSS and not having girlfriends.

this is supposed to translate into harry potter in thai..but i was wondering which word is "harry" and if thats what it really says.
i want to get the word "harry" tattooed in thai -- it was my grandpas name and he died so i wanted to make sure that i ink the right word on my body
thanks for your help

Well, no trick-or-treaters this year. The crack wrappers I find on my doorstep suggest to me that this is not that sort of area any more.

if youre moving nation for sex on lowbrow primetime tv i suggest germany or italy for the best chance of getting your end away

xxx also says she's going to find me a new boyfriend. I told her he's not allowed to be a drug addict, or someone who doesn't wash.

The younger post-operative transmen (many of whom were the actual organizers) restored my faith in chest surgery and hormone treatment.

I remember getting an application from someone who insisted on calling himself "Tree. Just Tree." who seemed quite clever, but the art department refused point blank to work with him:-)

Ideally, he wants somewhere with a spare room where he could "perform beautiful healing massages" and write bits of the Linux kernel

It is probably significant in some way that I can remember more about my imaginary friends than most of the people I was at St Anne's with.

... and so ends the list.

The original conceit was to just have a list of quotes, however there were three that stood out and in all three cases I remembered who posted them. Therefore let us proceed without ado to the award ceremony. Take it away Mr Ross...

In third place, archie, for his wise words on cheese.
"Everyone, don't buy Sainsbury's Double Gloucester cheese. It tastes of despair and emptiness. "
The Academy felt that he would have reached second place if they didn't detect a certain premeditated 'quoteiness' about it.

In second place, erica_the_vegan (who I don't know at all) for
People sometimes ask me if being a vegan is hard... the only hard thing, and this is totally honest, is trying to decide what to eat first.

And the winner is you own, your very own, pmcray for his exhortation:
"It's the Singularity we have to focus on. Everything else is almost an irrelevance. "

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