"OSBORNE LOSES ARM
IN MANDELSON
POKING INCIDENT
Twelve year-old shadow chancellor regrets prodding animal with a stick."
I think that tells us all we need to know about the news story. I was rather lost on the who did what when and why and why should anyone care, but now by the power of metaphor and thanks to Ian Hislop on HIGNFY I know as much as I want to.