November 10th, 2015

So farewell then, Lewis

"In the kingdom of the blind
It’s said the one-eyed man is king
And in the kingdom of the bland
It’s nine o’clock on ITV" - HMHB -

As Duckworth and Lewis walk off hand in hand into the sunset, we pause to wonder what ITV will replace it with. As I have said before, I find it impossible to believe that any British detective novelist can avoid having less than one eye on their novel(s) being turned into a long running TV franchise.
The peak of ludicrous crime shows was of course Van Der Valk, where British actors wandered round Amsterdam calling each other things like 'Wim', and plots were taken from the big pile of detective plots without reference to cultural differences.
I like to think of the Van Der Valk theme having the lyrics

"Weekdays at nine, so it's time for a ludicrous crime, ludicrous crime squad on ITV.
Weekdays at nine so it's time for a stupid crime, stupid crimes, ITV."

I sort of assume that in the pre-ITV plc days, you couldn't do a detective drama outside your region - which meant unless you were TVS doing Cats-Eye (ugh) or STV doing Taggart you wouldn't get one outside the areas of the big 4. Now presumably there could be one set in Bristol or points West or South-West. Nonetheless, Oxford is more scenic so they could do worse than buy my college contemporary Victoria Blake's novels and characters - they have the benefit of being set in Oxford AND West London, and Sam Falconer has an adequate amount of 'oh noes teh backstory' to function as an ITV detective drama.

Meanwhile, the synthesiser long-form version of the original Channel 4 Theme

As you know, professor, this was written by Lord David Dundas. If he doesn't have an answerphone where someone sings, to the tune of the Channel 4 jingle

'David Dundas - he is sorry he's not home
David Dundas - leave your message after tone'

I want to know why. I know I would.

He also wrote the ITV jingle - marvel at this long form version (presumably aimed at ad-agencies and advertisers, at least initially