I've got pie but I'm not a pion

The France 24 website has the joke. I, of course, am too shocked and appalled to repeat it here and am typing this standing to attention whilst playing the national anthem on a kazoo. I may have to gouge out my eyeballs as a precaution.
... confound their politics, frustrate their knavish tricks...

A detailed search of the Booker Prize winners reveals that the going rate seems to be about a CBE. Golding and Murdoch both got a knighthood / damehood admittedly, but I think Rushdie's irksome adoration of New York when he moved there in 2000 http://partners.nytimes.com/library/magazine/home/20000917mag-max.html should have lead to at least a 20 year disqualification from even being considered. I wonder what provoked the gong, I hardly imagine it was the government showing its support for free speech and artistic freedom of expression.